Elijah's Birthday, and Our Forever Family Day

We sit here at 9:00 on Monday evening, sitting in awe of the little cute one sleeping in our room.  We have Elijah in our room, and we are officially a forever family.  It is also Elijah's 2nd birthday today, and what a birthday it was for him, and for us!  He got a forever family, and we gained a son! Here's how the day went.

We woke up around 9:00 this morning and headed out to get some supplies.  We knew that Elijah would be coming home with us today, so we needed to make sure we had some diapers.  We knew his approximate weight, so we figured we could find them somewhere.  We found them in a market, just down the street from us.  It is great that we will be able to run out and get them whenever we need it.  We went to New York, New York for macchiato (sp? - for those who don't know, this is supposedly to die for in Ethiopia, an incredibly rich coffee, that everyone seems to love.  I'm not a fan of coffee, so I did not partake, but Hilary loved it), and a little breakfast.  We got back to the hotel around 12:00, and prepared for the trip back to the orphanage to pick him up.  We were told that we would be picked up around 1:30, so we were ready to go around 1:00.  As we sat there waiting, we ran into a couple that are adopting their child, and are also from Winnipeg.  Who knew that there could be so many Winnipegger's in Addis right when we are there.  We spent some time chatting about adoption, and some other things as we waited for our ride, who finally showed up around 1:45 or so.

As we got into the van, we re-met another couple that were attending court today.  It was a great experience to go to court in a bit of a different situation than we had originally been, and with no stress of that appearance.  We chatted about our different situations, and it was great getting to know them.  They now have a son that is right around the same age as Elijah.  It also sounds like she may join us at our hotel so that our boys will be able to play together.  What a blessing to have so many adoptive couples around.  It is awesome also that so many adoptive couples are so willing to share their stories.  Hopefully as a group, we can continue to share the positive stories that are our adoption stories, not necessarily easy, but positive.

After court, Hilary and I had to go to the agency offices to sign the waiver form that would allow us to take Elijah from the orphanage.  We went in and had a great discussion with Martha about timelines, and the process, as well as signing the document.  We now would have the authority to take Elijah out of the orphanage as we wait for the next step to be completed.

We got to the orphanage, and went straight into an isolation room with this couple.  We spent some time in this room chatting with them while we waited for the kids to join us in the room.  We were able to see Elijah on his potty, and he seemed to recognize us right away, and his face lit up.  It was a cool experience.  The kids were brought into the room, and we played with them, and of course took some pictures...  It was cool to interact with this other couple and their child as well as with Elijah.  He was generally quite relaxed as we fed him, and got him to warm up to us again.

At around 5:00, it was time go, and we started saying goodbye to the nannies.  Oh the nannies... we could tell that they loved him.  They all wanted to say to goodbye, and hold him one last time.  I think he was a bit shocked here, and didn't cry or complain at any point during this.  He even waved goodbye to all the nannies, and we left.  We got back into the van, and rode home... Eli was a model child.  He sat on Hilary's lap, enjoying the scenery around him.  I'm not sure he had ever really been in a vehicle before, so I think this was a new thing for him.  We arrived back at the hotel just the 3 of us.

Riding to the hotel, as a family of 3!

We got him into the baby carrier immediately, and he seemed to like it.  He seemed to be quite relaxed in the carrier with Hilary.  He had a sippy cup we had given him at the orphanage, with him, and would NOT let go.  It was very cute.  At some point during the evening, I had him on my lap, and he was just about falling asleep.  It was early, so we tried to keep him awake just a bit longer.  We got him to sit on the potty, and he did his business.  We dressed him in his pajamas, and laid him down to sleep between us on the bed.  It took a bit of Hilary singing to him, but he fell asleep, and is sleeping now.

We have a child, and he is with us.  Praise the Lord.  We are enjoying this first evening together, but we know that it will not all be easy.  We have absolutely no idea what tomorrow will bring.  When will he wake up?  Will he have problems with us at first?  We will continue to trust that the Lord has the situation in His hands, and that we will take whatever comes our way.  Thanks again, everyone for your prayers and encouragement as we've taken this next step.

May 17, 2013

Today is the day for court.

We felt that today, we would not do much other than prepare for the court date, and for the visit we hoped to have later in the day.

As a result, we slept in a bit, and just relaxed.  We ordered lunch, and we prepped packages to go to the orphanage in both cases (if we passed and if we did not).  We had made arrangements to be picked up at 1:30 in preparation for a 2:00 court time.  We were a bit eager and went down at 1:00.  At 1:15 our ride showed up, and we went to Afroland to pick up Martha, who is the representative who looks after the adoption cases from the Ethiopian side.  She's a very friendly and down to earth woman.  We asked the question at this point whether we would be returning to our hotel before going back to the orphanage in either situation (passing or not passing), and we were told that we would come back first, so we left our packages in the room.  The 4 of us drove to the courthouse for court.  We arrived, and were seated in a room with many chairs, that was about the size of a large hotel room.  There were about a dozen other people waiting in there as well.  Apparently it was a very slow day.  We waited about 15 minutes.  We were called into another small room where there was a judge and a clerk.  The judge asked us a number of questions, ranging from "Have you met the child" to "How long has the adoption process taken".  It was very informal, and lasted about 5 minutes.  At the end of this she said "You are now the legal parents of Rufael, He is yours".  That was it.  We were now the parents of the most beautiful Ethiopian boy.  We left the room, and headed out to the car, and we drove Martha back to the agency office.  At this point, we realized that we were going to be driven back to the orphanage, without going to the hotel first.  As a result, we had not brought our package that we wanted to give to Elijah, to break the ice, and win his trust.

We arrived at the orphanage, and were ushered into the same room we had been in in the previous visit.  At this point, we realized that there were things painted on the walls.  We asked our driver whether those had been there the first time, and he said yes... I guess we were too focused on the children to notice the surroundings when we came the first time.  We waited for a while as they woke the kids up from their naps, and put them on the potty..  We peeked around the corner, and it was a very cute sight to see all the little kids (about 25 of them) all lined up in the hallway each on their own potties.  Very cool.  They are all in diapers, but learning.

We waited a few more minutes, and Elijah was brought into the room, by one of the nannies.  We spent just over an hour with him in the room, trying to get him to warm up to us.  He seemed very worried and concerned most of the meeting, but at some point, he was giggling and smiling, as Hilary held him, and danced with him a bit.  Hilary was also able to feed him lunch, Raman noodles, and he ate without a problem, and made sure that she got every last noodle onto the spoon.  We were able to get some pictures of him, and the two of us, which is what you've seen on Facebook and the blog so far.

At about 4:15 or so, we left, and our driver brought us back to the hotel.  The traffic was much crazier than we'd seen to that point.  I may never complain about our traffic back home, again.  There is a lot of road construction, and lots of detours that need to be taken.  We haven't seen any traffic lights that are actually in operation, and even when there are police directing traffic, it still seems to be a bit of a free for all.  We may have mentioned it already, but it bears repeating.... How many of us could deal with a 16 lane uncontrolled intersection?  The vehicles crossing this intersection, all seem to know what to do, but I wouldn't even contemplate driving here.  It's easier sometimes, just not to watch the traffic.  And the pollution... craziness..  My throat and eyes were burning yesterday as we were stuck in the traffic jam.  Hilary's glasses had a thick layer of dust or grime on them..

We got back to the hotel, and washed up.  We called our parents to give them the good news, and then went to Facebook to update it there.  We were blessed by the comments and likes that seemed to never end.  We spent the evening relaxing, and enjoying the fact that we are now officially a mom and dad!

Introducing Elijah (Eli) Dueck

WE PASSED COURT TODAY!, and gained a son, Elijah!

The First Dueck Family Photo

We will provide more of a journal entry on this day later, when we have had a chance to let it all sink in.

Wednesday, May 15 & Thursday, May 16

On Wednesday, we spent the day mostly inside.  Sheldon was not feeling very good, and we were worried that he could be coming down with what it seems everyone comes down with here, where they spend lots of time in the bathroom.  As a result, we felt that we should go and explore just a little bit.  We explored down Bole Road, which is the main road closest to us.  There are a number of restaurants on the street, as well as many shops, and a shopping mall.  We spent about an hour to an hour and a half walking up and down the street, and scouting out where we would purchase items such as children's clothing, toys, and if we really are in the mood, more electronics :)  It was good to get some fresh air, and Sheldon began to feel a bit better by the end of it.  We went back to the hotel, had some lunch, played some games (we've been playing monopoly deal quite a bit), and watched a few TV shows.  We settled in for bed around 10 PM, with the hope that we would be able to sleep through the night, something that has not happened for both of us yet this trip.

We both slept well, and basically slept right through the night, which gave us a bit more of a positive outlook on things to start off the morning.  We went down to the lobby for breakfast, and ran into a family that is here to pick up their daughter.  And lo and behold, they are also from Winnipeg.  It was great to touch base with them, even though our scenarios are a bit different, it was cool to make a connection like this right in our hotel.  At 10:00 AM or so, other friends of ours whom we met on this trip, came to pick us up.  We had decided that we would attempt to venture out to the Merkato.  For those of you who do not know what this is, here is the wikipedia entry:

Addis Mercato (Amharic for "New Market", popularly just Mercato, from the Italian for "market") is the name for the large open-air marketplace in the Addis Ketema district of Addis Ababa,Ethiopia, and for the neighborhood in which it is located.
Mercato is the largest open air market in Africa, covering several square miles and employing an estimated 13,000 people in 7,100 business entities. The primary merchandise passing through the Mercato is locally-grown agricultural products — most notably coffee.
The Addis Mercato was instituted by segregationist policies of the Italian occupational government. They restricted the historic St. George Mercato to Europeans, causing the mostly Arab tradesmen to relocate a half mile to the west. Over time, local shopkeepers displaced the Arab merchants and, since the 1960s, the Addis Mercato has had a mostly local flavor.
The Addis Mercato has over 120 stores and one massive shopping center with 75 stores.

It was a crazy experience, even though we were going on a slow day, Thursday.  Apparently it is much busier on Friday, Saturday, and Sundays...  The sheer number of people in this market is nuts.  And the size of the stores would rival most American bathroom stalls, the number of goods crammed into this space was crazy.  We were lucky to have a very trusted driver, and a very competent barterer in our group, which allowed us to walk through and figure out things that we might want, and negotiate a better deal for it.  We basically purchased a few souvenirs, as we would not dare venturing into this space with our son once he is here...

By noon, we were all ready to call it a day for the market, and headed back to the hotel.  We made the decision that we would join this family for a swim at the Sheraton.  Again for those who do not know, the Sheraton has a big swimming pool, and allows people to come in and use the pool for a reasonable price.  The five of us swam and chatted for the entire afternoon, and it was a blessing to hang out with a family that has very similar values as we do.  We are blessed to have this family here while we are, and we look forward to spending more time with them as we each continue to wait for our paperwork to be completed.  We left the Sheraton, a lot more refreshed, and a bit redder.

By the time we got home around 6 PM, we were about ready to zonk out.  We spent some time watching TV, and preparing for bed.  Tomorrow is the big day.  Tomorrow is court, and is the day that our son could legally be declared as being our son.  How will we sleep?  We sure hope we will be able to sleep :)

Thank you again everyone for your prayers and support.  Even though this week was a difficult week for us, it is getting better, and we are starting to settle in a bit more.

Visiting Day

Today was the first of the days that we have been looking forward to.  We got to visit our son.

We were driven to the orphanage, and it took about a half hour from the guesthouse.  We were told it was not far, so we're not sure what "far" is.

We were escorted into the building, and into small room on the 2nd floor of the orphanage building.  There were 15-20 kids (all under the age of 2 1/2 or so).  It was cute chaos in there.  We could tell from the interaction we observed that the kids are all very loved.  In situations where the children would cry, there was someone to love them up immediately.

Given the strict rules that we had, we were not allowed to pick up, or pay any special attention our son.  We played and played with all the kids.  Hilary had 5 kids trying to sit on her lap at once.  She was holding one child, and had 4 on her lap at one point.  They are all beautiful children.

Our son is beautiful as well.  We did interact with him on a few occasions in the hour that we were in the room.  He enjoyed putting pieces of lego on his head, and we were to repeat this.  We did this a number of times, and he enjoyed it.  He also seemed to enjoy throwing things.  Another thing he did a number of times was try to climb onto a container to look out the window... He got reprimanded for it a number of times, but he still kept on doing it.  What a beautiful little boy... We can't wait to see him again, and be able to take him home...

As we rode along to the orphanage and back, we noticed a lot of interesting things that we would find odd in Canada.  Cattle herded down the street, 16 lane un-controlled intersection (talk about confusion corner, I would not even think of driving in this city), many honks (saying, "I'm here", "get off the road", "don't angle me out", "thank you"), extreme poverty, vehicles with waaay too much loaded on the top of the vehicles, and a variety of different smells as you move down the street (from good smelling things to garbage smells).

It was a better day today.  I assume that we are still feeling the effects of jet lag, and being constantly tired, despite not being able to sleep in the middle of the night.  This morning, we were blessed to chat a little bit with Hilary's parents (even though the internet connection was terrible) which gave us a little bit more energy for the day.  All in all, it was a good day.

Thank you all again for your interest, prayers and support.  We've been reading your encouraging words to the previous few posts.

Monday, May 13

We had a great day in Ethiopia!

We spent the day getting to know a new couple here in Addis, and spending time celebrating a birthday of their son.  We were able to go to an orphanage (not the one where our son is at), and celebrate, complete with a bouncy castle, and oodles of food.  The kids were adorable, and we enjoyed getting to know some of them a little bit by having the sit on our laps, and just generally interact together.  It was great.

It was also awesome to get to know a couple in the same situation as what we are in.  We hope to get together with them some more over the next few weeks.

Please once again pray for us as we struggle with the isolation.  Even though we had a great day with a couple whom we would definitely consider friends now, we are still struggling with how we are going to make it through multiple weeks of this.  Obviously, we will also soon have a little one to help adjust to living with us, as well as take care of our needs.  Please pray for us as we go through a difficult and exciting time.

Pictures will probably not get uploaded very often as the internet connection seems to be poor, and intermittent.

We were blessed to have a chance to chat with Hilary's parents this morning (at 4 in the morning here, since we could not sleep).  Hopefully this will re-energize us going forward being able to have some of this contact with our families.

On that note, we shall try and get back to bed.  And, today we get to meet our son for the first time.  Please pray that this will be a positive experience, and that it will give us a boost as we move forward.

Sunday, May 12

We woke up around 9 or 10 o'clock on Sunday morning, and felt somewhat rested.  We spent the morning unpacking, and getting our bearings straight.  We were feeling quite out of sorts here, as we see just how many people are out there, and how we are totally the outsiders.  We headed out for lunch at a restaurant that we had heard about, and felt fairly confident would be safe to eat at called "New York, New York".  The food was good, but of course, it wasn't quite the same as it is back home :)

We went out and bought some supplies (water) and returned to the guesthouse to relax again for the rest of the day.  We watched some TV, and went to bed.

All in all, an uneventful day, but the enormity of the situation is starting to sink in just a bit more.  We will be here for a while, and it will be outside our comfort zone for the next number of weeks.  We also realize how our support system is back home, and isn't as readily accessible as it usually is.  It will be a stretching experience as we learn to cope with this.